Harry and the Great Dolohov Debacle
by MissLiquidLuck
Summary: Dolohov's out of prison and guess who's going to be making sure he isn't stirring up troube? That's right, our favourite hero, Harry Potter! Only things don't go quite as he planned... Written for lglsorlndo's Harry Gets a Snake Challenge.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... unfortunately.**

**AN: Before all of you throw bricks at me, I'd just like to point out that Antonin Dolohov is NOT OOC, he'd just come out of Azkaban, he's... _changed. _This oneshot was written for Iglsorlndo's Harry Gets a Snake Challenge. Enjoy and review!**

"As you know Mr. Potter, Antonin Dolohov has very recently been released from Azkaban."

Harry's ears perked up at the mention of the former Death Eater and he sat straighter. He wrapped his hands around the cup of coffee and nodded at the Minister's secretary to continue his report. It was obviously important if they'd sent Kingsley's personal secretary to brief him on the issue.

The secretary nervously cleared his throat, loosened his tie and proceeded, "The Ministry is a bit worried about Dolohov creating… trouble. After all he was one of the original Death Eaters and one of Voldemort's most loyal followers." He looked at Harry expectantly, waiting for him to say something.

"Go on," said Harry patiently, taking a small sip of coffee.

The secretary took a deep breath, "The Ministry wants you to make sure that he isn't up to anything-"

"What in Merlin's beard could he be up to?" interrupted Harry incredulously, coffee sloshing precariously against the sides of the mug. "The man's only been out of Azkaban for a week, he can't be that eager to go back!"

The rookie grinned uneasily and ran a hand through his stringy brown hair. "Yes sir, I suppose so. But Mr. Weasley's been quite adamant and didn't stop bothering the Minister until he agreed to send an Auror to make sure Dolohov wasn't up to anything."

"Which Mr. Weasley?" asked Harry, green eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Mr. Percy Weasley, sir." Said Kingsley's secretary.

Harry sighed and leaned back in his swivel chair, rubbing his temples wearily. Despite all Percy had been through, he'd never really lost the habit to leave nothing to chance. "Are you sure you can't convince him that Dolohov isn't up to anything?" He asked tiredly.

"I'm quite sure, sir." Replied the rookie. "We've had a truckload of letters from him all this week and he even demanded an appointment with the Minister a few days ago. I'm afraid it can't be put off Mr. Potter, you'll have to send someone to scope it out."

He sighed and played with his quill, "Everyone else is engaged with newbie training and the only person left is Teddy, I'm not quite sure he should be sent to spy on the man who's killed his father. No, that wouldn't work at all." He mentally went through a list of people and to his annoyance all of them seemed to be engaged in something or the other.

Except for him.

He pondered the idea of going and spying on Dolohov; it'd been a while since he'd gone on an actual mission of importance and he wondered if he'd be able to put it off. He was still quite fit and his duelling had only improved since joining the Auror Office. His glance shifted to the papers littering his desk; it was this or Antonin Dolohov.

"Sir?" Kingsley's secretary's voice brought him out of his reverie and Harry straightened up once more. "What are you planning to do?"

"I'll go," said Harry finally. "Everyone else is busy at the moment."

He felt a surge of irritation as the secretary's eyes bulged and mouth fell open. "But-but _you _sir, surely there is someone-"

"Younger?" interjected Harry dryly with an arched eyebrow.

The secretary paled, "No sir, of course not sir. Just a little more qualified for the job-"

"You don't think I'm qualified for the job?" demanded Harry impatiently.

The secretary turned from pale white to tomato red in seconds and began to splutter incomprehensibly before he managed to string a sentence that made sense. "On the contrary sir, I think you're _over_qualified. Isn't there a younger auror, one who could use the experience?"

There it was again, that awful word. _Younger. _

"Listen…- what's your name again?"

"Richard, sir." Answered the secretary; he was practically shaking in his boots under Harry's stare.

"Listen Richard," Harry continued exasperatedly, "this is Antonin Dolohov we're dealing with. I think it's best if someone with a _little _more experience tackles this job."

After his words were twisted mercilessly poor Richard could only nod his agreement before being sent out of the office. However, he did poke his head through the door against his better judgement to ask one last question.

"Sir, if you don't mind my asking, how exactly are you planning to spy on Dolohov?"

The plan had been forming in Harry's head from the moment Richard had mentioned that someone had to spy on Dolohov. It was foolproof, ingenious, _spectacular! _

"I'm going to be his dog."

"_What?" _

The next day, Harry had two Aurors escort him to a café that Dolohov seemed to visit regularly, he was buzzing with excitement and couldn't wait to get started.

"Now remember sir," one Auror whispered as he walked Harry to an empty table, "when you've found out enough you're to bark in a specific rhythm that we've cast an enchantment on. Sort of like how the name Voldemort was tabooed during the Wizarding War. Then try to run away as fast as possible and we'll collect you."

Harry nodded his small, shaggy black head. It had turned out that Dolohov had a thing for big dogs and Harry had been waiting for a chance to turn into a big black dog like Sirius, his godfather, used to.

"Good bye, sir." Said the other Auror before disapparating and leaving Harry on his own. He trotted about the outdoor café for a while, observing his surroundings just in case something went wrong.

Finally, after what seemed like ages Antonin Dolohov made an appearance. He wore a big, black cloak and walked with his head ducked to avoid attracting attention to himself, however the opposite was happening as not many people wore heavy cloaks in the middle of July.

Deciding that there was no point in waiting any longer, Harry barked playfully and jogged towards Dolohov, who at first looked quite alarmed but then relaxed.

_The dog thing was working! _

Harry put his paws on Dolohov's knees and the ex-Death Eater patted his head. "Good doggie." He cooed in an extremely un-Antonin-like manner. "You're a lovely doggie, yes _you are. _You're a nice, shaggy doggie, aren't you? _Yes you are._ _What a lovely little doggie!_"

Harry felt the urge to barf after being subjected to such baby talk but managed to keep up his playful act and keep Antonin occupied. Unfortunately for Harry, at that moment a woman passed and shot Dolohov a strange look, causing the ex-Death Eater's features to harden and him to straighten.

Harry barked in protest as Dolohov passed him and moved towards an empty table. Antonin cast a sad look at him and then looked back at the table… and then back at Harry.

Dolohov sighed and rubbed his face wearily.

Harry barked one last time.

That did the trick.

Antonin rushed towards him and ruffled Harry's fur. "Come on doggie, you'll be coming with me now. I had some important business to attend to but I suppose we can take care of that at home, right?" He waited for an answer Harry couldn't give. "That's right, _good doggie." _

Antonin flicked his wand and a collar appeared on Harry's neck, one that was attached to a leash held by Dolohov. As Dolohov picked up Harry –with a fair amount of grunting (that old Death Eater wasn't a strong as he used to be)- Harry's mind was reeling with the new information.

_Business? _What sort of business?

They arrived at Dolohov's home, a large house covered in ivy that looked like it'd been neglected for quite a while with overgrown bushes all over the garden- if you could call it a garden- and the windows boarded up.

"I'm sorry about the mess doggie," said Antonin regretfully, "don't worry, it looks much better inside." Harry turned and barked. Antonin nodded wisely, "I know doggie, I know. You're absolutely right, those rue hedges should be trimmed. I'll tell Polly to do it right away."

Trouble or not, Antonin Dolohov was _definitely _a nutter, that was for sure.

Harry followed Antonin into the shell of what had once been a grand house, and true to Dolohov's word, the house was much better on the inside. For one it seemed like someone had taken immaculate care of the furniture since everything had that look of being recently cleaned. The portraits had not long ago been dusted and ornaments that lined various tabletops shined.

Antonin turned left and entered a large Drawing room; he sat down on a chaise lounge and patted the seat beside him. "Come on doggie, up you go!"

Harry seethed inwardly; it was going to be hard to keep this dog act up if Dolohov insisted on talking to Harry as if he were some newborn pup! Enough with the 'doggie' already! Harry hadn't actually inspected his dog self but from the distance between his head and the ground he had a good feeling that he was quite a bit larger than your average 'doggie' for sure. Nonetheless he followed the ex- Death Eater's instructions and hopped onto the chaise lounge next to him.

Dolohov looked around for a moment before grabbing an antique candlestick and waved it in Harry's face. Needless to say Harry was more than a bit surprised when a centuries old candlestick was waved in a 'tantalizing' manner above his face.

Then to add to his surprise, Dolohov chucked it across the room. "Fetch!" He commanded. Harry stared at Dolohov in disbelief.

He couldn't be serious.

Dolohov did try to hold his ground and for a little while he even gave Harry 'stern' looks, eventually though, he cracked. "Doggie, you're _my _dog now, you have to fetch when I tell you to!" he said in an authoritative tone whilst pointing at the candlestick lying in the middle of the room.

If dogs could sigh, Harry would have. He hopped off the chaise and miserably trotted to where the candlestick lay looking dejected, picked it up gingerly in his mouth –who knew how much bacteria it'd accumulated in all those years- and brought it back to Dolohov.

Dolohov grinned and clapped before he patted Harry enthusiastically. "Good doggie! _Good doggie!" _

Harry was becoming impatient; what of the 'business' that had been mentioned earlier? Surely Dolohov hadn't become so enthralled in his acquisition of a new pet that he'd forgotten what must have been a very important meeting!

Thankfully, Dolohov seemed to remember he had a meeting to attend to and rang a small silver bell.

There was a loud _crack _and a house elf appeared in the room.

"Polly, get some Floo powder will you?" asked Dolohov offhandedly. "Oh and trim those rue hedges, Master Doggie doesn't particularly like them."

"Master… _Doggie_, sir?" asked the elf fearfully.

Antonin narrowed his eyes, "_Yes, _Master Doggie." He pointed at Harry, "He's been here for at least half an hour and you haven't even bothered to learn his name?"

The elf bowed in apology, "My apologies Master. Polly is very sorry." And then with a crack she was gone, only to appear a few seconds later, hand Dolohov a bowl of Floo powder and then leave again.

Dolohov rolled his eyes and looked at Harry remorsefully. "I'm so sorry about Polly, Doggie. She's become a bit slow in her old age, she doesn't recognize well-bred dogs like she used too." He tutted sadly and then grabbed the Floo powder, making his way to the fireplace.

He shouted something Harry couldn't quite catch and threw the Floo powder into the fireplace, there was a roar and green flames licked the stony walls before a face appeared in the fireplace.

Or well, a face that was hidden behind a square of cardboard.

Darn.

"Hello Antonin." The gravelly voice rumbled. "I was disappointed when you didn't show up today for our little business transaction."

"I'm so very sorry, I found a dog and just _had _to bring him home." Gushed Dolohov.

He could practically hear the man in the fireplace raising his eyebrows. "You blew off our meeting… for a dog?" the voice demanded incredulously.

"It is a special dog!" Insisted Dolohov. "I swear to Merlin it is! I just feel like... it has _purpose _in my life, you know?"

There was a pregnant pause and then, "No. Not really. Anyway, I suppose you're alright conducting the meeting by Floo right?"

"Quite alright with it, yes."

"Right then, all I needed to settle was when you'd be ready to see the construction site. That and when you were going to pay."

_Construction site?_ The plot thickens…

"Oh, I can see the construction site right now if you like."

Yes! Maybe Harry would be able to go home for dinner… what was Ginny making again? Roast chicken? Yum… _No! _It was not the right time to pull a Ron, he had to pay attention!

"Alright, I'll have someone pick you up. _Come alone." _And then the cardboard covered face disappeared from the fireplace.

Harry buzzed with excitement upon noticing how 'come alone' was stressed, one must be in really bad business if one has to go around holding cardboard in front of their faces and 'come alone' to unidentified places.

He padded towards where Antonin sat and placed his head on the ex-Death Eater's knee- even though it disgusted him to do so. He barked softly and Antonin jumped a little.

"Oh," he said remorsefully, "sorry little doggie, I was a little distracted there." He rubbed his face wearily and leaned back in his chair. "All this-… _business _can be a little tiring you know." He checked the face of his watch, "He will be here to pick me up soon, we had better get going."

Harry's ears perked up; this mission was going better than he'd ever dared hope. He'd _definitely _be there for Ginny's roast chicken.

But possibly even more rewarding than roast chicken was the fact that he was almost completely sure that Dolohov was involved in some sort of shady business. He hadn't busted a crook in such a long time; it was quite a refreshing experience.

Harry had been immersed in this reverie when Dolohov leapt to his feet and told Harry –rather worriedly- that their ride was here. They navigated their way through multiple corridors until they once again exited the large and decaying house.

In the driveway stood a large black limousine with tinted windows and a rather scary looking bald man driving it. One of the polished doors opened and a small man with a mop of black greasy hair stepped out. The sunglasses perched on his nose were much too large and covered most of his face- then again, after the man with the cardboard covered face Harry wondered if that was on purpose.

He flashed a grin at Antonin and moved forward to greet him, but as soon as his eyes landed on Harry something changed about the man. His features hardened and all of a sudden his easy smile was a death glare aimed at both Dolohov and Harry.

"I thought I told you to come alone," he hissed.

Antonin looked around for a few moments and then quite dumbly said, "I am alone."

The man in the large sunglasses smacked his forehead and gritted his teeth before saying in a sickly sweet voice, "Then what is that _dog _doing here?"

Dolohov looked offended as he moved to stand in front of Harry in a rather overprotective stance. "This is no normal dog, this is a _special one. _He's good luck you know."

The other man let out a sigh of annoyance and then jerked his thumb towards the limousine. "Fine. Get in."

Dolohov gestured towards Harry to get in the limousine and Harry willingly obeyed. It wasn't going to be long before he was back in his office retelling an epic tale of how he stopped a major Dark Arts conspiracy from starting all over again. It would be just like the good old days- except Harry had never exactly turned into a dog in the good old days.

As soon as they were all settled the limousine lurched forward and bulleted through the park, out the front gate, through small lanes, into rush hour traffic all in one minute. As Harry tried to resist the urge to barf all he could think of was how this was _definitely _a magic car.

Finally after many more sickening minutes in the car, they finally arrived at their destination. The door was flung open and Harry was the first to get out, partly to inspect this new place and partly so he wouldn't have to spend another _minute _in that awful car.

He surveyed his surroundings. They seemed to be at some sort of construction site-though he'd gathered that much from the Floo conversation. It was old and almost worse looking than Dolohov's house, which was saying something.

He shivered with excitement as they entered the site. He was however confused when Dolohov began to simply wander about and point at things and jump and down.

"Calm down, Dolohov!" Hissed the short man. "I hear people have found out about your little plans, they'd love to see how you'd set up shop!"

Whoa. _Set up shop? _What in Merlin-

"Doggie!" Cried Antonin grabbing Harry all of a sudden. "Don't you want to see how I'll set up when I finally open for business?"

_Oh. _He must be opening some sort of Dark Arts shop or something. Though to proclaim his plans out in the open wasn't very smart…

"I'll have the jeans over here, and the purple dress robes over _there-"_

Jeans? Purple dress robes? Were these evil jeans and purple dress robes? Possibly modern fashion for the modern criminal? Harry's mind began spinning, since when had dark wizards become interested in jeans and purple dress robes?

"_BE QUIET DOLOHOV!" _

"- and the hats will go there. Obviously they'll be separated by time of day, can't have evening hats colliding with morning hats! That'll be the ruin of my new career! Think about it doggie, Antonin Dolohov, fashion designer extraordinaire; mess up his first day by mixing up hats? I won't allow it! I mean, think of the Muggles, they'll be terribly offended if I don't categorize my hats, after all they will be some of my main customers!"

Dolohov let go of Harry so he could do a small pirouette near a pile of rubble. If Harry had been human, his jaw would have hit the floor _long ago. _

Antonin Dolohov.

Notorious Death Eater.

Responsible for the deaths of so many- including Remus Lupin's.

_Was designing clothes for Muggles. _

That was the big scheme, the business.

Deciding that there was no point in hanging around any longer Harry tugged at his leash. An impatient and rather annoyed Dolohov took the leash of his collar without for even a second considering that Harry might run away. You can imagine his surprise when Harry broke out into a full run and was out of sight in thirty seconds flat.

Ten minutes later Harry rounded the corner of some dirty alleyway and barked the rhythm to the newest Weird Sisters song. As expected, there was a loud _pop _and two Aurors stood side-by-side, waiting to collect Harry. For the first time in hours Harry was able to turn back into a human- it was definitely a relief not to be covered in fur and see in colour.

As they ushered him towards the car that would take them back to the Ministry, one Auror excitedly asked him, "Sir, did you find anything?"

Harry had to physically restrain himself from groaning out loud at the utter failure the mission- or rather the _results _of the mission- had been. Nonetheless he replied, "Yes I suppose I did."

"And what was that sir?" asked the hyper Auror. Harry scowled, he really needed to stop hiring such nosy individuals.

Harry thought about his answer for a bit and then said, "Azkaban changes people."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

Harry looked back to Antonin fawning over his dog form and generally being quite a happy, positive person. And then he remembered the pirouetting and the excessive baby talk.

"That depends."


End file.
